I’m Not the Best, and You aren’t Either
By admin • Dec 8th, 2008 • Category: Miscellaneous, MusicI’ve spent a lot of time the past few years struggling to claw my way to the stop of the ladder in a lot of arenas. Musically, academically, socially, you name it. The sad part is that I never do seem to reach that top rung, or even one I can be content with. This issue came to a head when I started exploring music and discovering the measure of musical talents I have been given. When I first discovered I was able to sing, I jumped about 10 years ahead of myself. Questions ran through my mind constantly, things like “how can I get a demo together?” “how can I sound like shane and shane?” “how can I get into a worship leader position?”, they have taken their toll on me in such a huge way.
I realize this now more than ever because before this semester, I only had a few B+s and all As.
Now, I’m not even sure if I will pass all of my classes.
My obsession with becoming the best has almost ripped a goal right out from under me, and I have allowed it happen. All the pain, insecurity, and confusion about what to do with music has really done some damage. Well, I have something to say, and I think we all should say it. And we should say it every day.
I am not the best. And that’s ok.
It seems as though the “bigger and better” mindset permeates so many of Georgia’s churches. We have to have the “best ” worship leader, the “best” stage, the “best” speaker. And the point here is to draw people in who will otherwise not be “impressed” enough to attend church.
Being a part of the Church is not about being impressed. It is about being freed from sin, captivity, insecurity, darkness, death, and bondage. I can’t help but think we should motivate believers to grow spiritually in such a way that they begin questioning the relevance and purpose of these multi-million dollar buildings, productions, and stages. Church, think! Ask yourself why we throw money around in the church as if it belonged to us. Do we not understand that there are children who are cold on the streets of Atlanta? That people are losing their homes left and right? That capable men who have taken care of their families for so long are now being forced to walk the streets looking for work? I pray for the church to re-prioritize, to reach out to the broken hearted and to stop building their own kingdoms and to start building the kingdom of God!
I’m not accusing anyone and neither am I questioning the Lord’s relevance in and through these churches. Instead, I am asking people to think about the heart behind some of decisions made behind church walls, and to get motivated to make a difference in the world! We are consumed with building our local churches when we should, instead, be focused on building the Church universal! We should be out there serving and giving and loving and laughing with the people who need us so desperately. Instead, though, we are obsessing over set designs and sound equipment, squabbling over who is the “best” worship leader (what does that even mean?), and spending millions of dollars in silly, superficial places. What is wrong with gathering in an older, cheaper facility and cutting out all the rediculous American fluff that our churches are packed with? Nothing. But for some reason, we have bought into the lie that we must be the best at everything. That God requires us to have “the best” church campus, the best this, and the best that. And we justify ourselves by saying we “do it for God” when I just don’t know if this is true.
My prayer is for freedom from the need to be better. Better than others, better than even I am capable of being. I want more than anything to be able to look at myself in the mirror, crooked teeth, skinny neck, little frame and all and say “this is me, and I like that.” I want to appreciate all the times my voice cracks, all the times my fingers slip on the guitar, all the times I write a stupid lyric and think it’s the most profound thing anyone’s ever written. I want to be the kind of person who attempts to add worth to the people around them, not use them to add worth to myself.
It is time that believers in our generation stop the competition. I can’t be the best, and I am OK with that.
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