Jason.Brooks.Stansel

I once read on Carlos Whittaker’s blog a listing of some character flaws and worries, and I think it might be beneficial for me, and maybe you as well, if I did the same thing. I sincerely wish the church was more transparent, even though I think our generation is beginning to emphasize the value of transparency a great deal more than in the past. We must realize the truth that we no longer need to hide and that Christ has set us free from that terrible bondage! I say find someone and confess, revealing to them those things that make you feel like you are disgusting, less than whole, and unworthy. It is miraculously healing, and it is a thing Scripture exhorts us to do regularly:

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. -James 5:16

It is interesting; we are mortified of being “found out” and yet there is nothing more beautiful and relieving than to be freed from the need to impress. The day we realize that we can submit our faults and weaknesses to one another is the day that true connectedness and genuineness can occur; it is the day that community happens. And it is the love and transformation found in community that I can’t help but think we all crave.

So, as for my flaws:

My mind is constantly reeling and I never know what to think about ANYTHING.

I am insecure about my teeth. No, really. I cover my mouth a lot of times when I laugh.

I hate being skinny. In fact, I realized I only look at myself in a certain angle in the mirror because when I turn sideways I can see how skinny I am. And I get depressed.

I am terrified of being in a real relationship. And I tell people I dated this really pretty girl in high school, but it was never really dating. I just liked her, and she said she liked me for three days. And then we ended it and went back to being friends. I still obsessed over her, though.

I wish my family stayed connected more.

I sometimes think I’ll never find a girl that will put up with me.

I have absolutely no self-discipline. I spend a LOT of money on fast food. And I am eating those flavored tootsie roll things as we speak. And I feel gross with every bite. But, so tasty!

I apologize too much.

I want to record an album one day that will affect you in a good way.

I think music might ruin my life if I’m not careful.

I get EXTREMELY lonely sometimes and get anxiety a times. Not as much as I used to, though.

I don’t feel community at TFC and wish I knew how to change it. But, I may have to quit being an asshole before I can figure that out.

I don’t understand what it means to “know God’s will.” If you do, help me out. Cue verses, Michelle.

I also don’t understand what it means to be worthy because of the cross. I’ll have to work that one out on my own time, I think.

I can be good at lying and manipulating. No, I’m not proud of this.

What are some things you aren’t proud of? And how can we stray from this overbearing fear of being discovered for who and what we really are: weak and scared without the cross, cleansed and empowered through it?